January 15, 2017
How are you? Depending on who’s presenting this question; these three words congregated into a sentence can express very little or be empathetically charged with so much meaning. Most commonly used as a non-question to initiate the beginning of a conversation with someone familiar; this question is often experienced by the recipient with little impact or thought as they then follow with their response. To be honest, I’ve never really understood the common practice of asking this purpose-filled question for purposeless reasons. I mean… are there not a multitude of other phrases to greet someone with? Hello again…Nice to see you… it’s been awhile…Good morning…Good afternoon. Each of these are sufficient greetings; right? And if you have a specific agenda when connecting with someone…if your aim is not to selflessly position your heart and ears to actually listen to their response; why not simply state your intentions genuinely instead of exchanging empty pleasantries for the sake of seeming compassionate? But an authentic gesture of “How Are You’” implies so much more. It cuts through all the noise and forces the recipient to consciously and quickly decide rather their response will be honest or elusive…genuine or artificial…and transparent or vague.
This becomes infinitely important for the individual who elects to answer with honesty, genuineness, and transparency. For as they reveal their trepidations concerning their circumstance…particularly if they are living separate from Christ; you are now positioned to not only comfort them, but to offer them an eternal comfort they never knew existed. For me, I’ve always fought to pose this three- worded question for ALL it has the potential to be worth. Why?
#1- Because it matters; It really…truly…matters what a person may be experiencing. Without that person’s assistance…through their answer; my words and/or actions could prove massively unhelpful… and I don’t want that. In contrast, I want to be as helpful as possible, taking on the mindset that their pain is as my pain and their suffering is as my suffering. Think 1 Corinthians 12:26.
#2- It demonstrates a Christ-like level of empathy; aimed away from self-centeredness and pointed towards the needs of another. We were never created to do life alone or to be wholly consumed within ourselves. Yet this type of reaching out is not solely for the benefit of the person in need; for it actually is to your personal benefit as well. As you give freely of yourself for the sake of others, you will come to see depleted areas of your own spiritual reservoir being replenished with greater specificity than any personal attempt at self-rejuvenation. Think Philippians 2:4.
This becomes infinitely important for the individual who elects to answer with honesty, genuineness, and transparency. For as they reveal their trepidations concerning their circumstance…particularly if they are living separate from Christ; you are now positioned to not only comfort them, but to offer them an eternal comfort they never knew existed. For me, I’ve always fought to pose this three- worded question for ALL it has the potential to be worth. Why?
#1- Because it matters; It really…truly…matters what a person may be experiencing. Without that person’s assistance…through their answer; my words and/or actions could prove massively unhelpful… and I don’t want that. In contrast, I want to be as helpful as possible, taking on the mindset that their pain is as my pain and their suffering is as my suffering. Think 1 Corinthians 12:26.
#2- It demonstrates a Christ-like level of empathy; aimed away from self-centeredness and pointed towards the needs of another. We were never created to do life alone or to be wholly consumed within ourselves. Yet this type of reaching out is not solely for the benefit of the person in need; for it actually is to your personal benefit as well. As you give freely of yourself for the sake of others, you will come to see depleted areas of your own spiritual reservoir being replenished with greater specificity than any personal attempt at self-rejuvenation. Think Philippians 2:4.
Things Are Not Always As They Seem...
This is so true. In this instance, irrespective of one’s programmed smile, practiced body language, and measured response; most people are feeling someway about something or someone that is affecting them in real time…and it’s weighing on their hearts. Now this doesn’t decisively mean that we are required or should even attempt to have a “fix” for their situation. But it does mean that we should seek to be aware of where other people are at. This is true in the positive as well. Even on the best of days…when you perceive a person has accomplished much, performed well, and experienced elevated happiness; our awareness of their feelings made possible by our question being rooted in empathy, better positions our own hearts to engage rightly with their hearts in a helpful manner. Always remember that we are complicated and layered individuals. Things are not always as they seem. It is possible for you and I to experience massive success and happiness while simultaneously feeling lonely and in despair where it truly counts. You’d be surprised to know how many people appear to be thriving externally while they truly epitomize despondency from within. Choosing to present this powerful three worded question…wrapped in genuine care; will afford you the opportunity to help others cut through the noise of their circumstances.
Circumstances lose their sting when we decide to live as Bible Believing Christians who DESIRE and REQUIRE real responses from people we come in contact with.
How are you? I cannot tell you how pivotal this question,wrapped in a blanket of patience, has proven itself to be. Moments I would have approached casually became conversations that went down… and deep; leading to a much needed “moment” for a person that may not have been aware they were in desperate need of one. Simply taking the time to genuinely care for another person’s interest above my own, afforded me the opportunity to share the gift of love, hope, assurance, truth, and when necessary; a measured rebuke. Other times, a simple loving embrace was all that was needed at the apex of a person’s sorrow-filled answer to my heart felt question. Only after the conversation accomplished it’s purpose did that individual realize how much unhealthy noise had circulated within their hearts and minds. Only through the common grace of these Gospel-centered encounters were they able to rightly see their circumstances from a Christ-centered perspective. Only then were they able to discern how valuable and satisfying the exchange of authentic conversation can be to a person’s life.
And while awkward moments, uncomfortable subjects, and moments of painful clarity are guaranteed to materialize from time to time; circumstances lose their sting when we decide to live as Bible Believing Christians who desire and require real responses from people we come in contact with. How? Because when we genuinely desire and ask how someone is doing… when we gently and lovingly commend them to be vulnerable and transparent with us; we effectually create a safe place for their unrestrained and often illogical emotions to be exposed and then reframed by the power of the Holy Spirit working through these Gospel-centered encounters.
And these encounters should NOT be decisively limited to family and close friends. Instead, we must think deeply about the gospel mandate upon our own lives to share the amazing news of Jesus’ blood-bought gift of salvation to anyone and everyone who is devoid of this saving grace. Should close family and friends that are without this truth be within our aim? Yes. But we should also seek and not avoid these same encounters with people we may be unfamiliar with. Long relationships are not quintessential for The Holy Spirit to work within us… our willingness is.
And while awkward moments, uncomfortable subjects, and moments of painful clarity are guaranteed to materialize from time to time; circumstances lose their sting when we decide to live as Bible Believing Christians who desire and require real responses from people we come in contact with. How? Because when we genuinely desire and ask how someone is doing… when we gently and lovingly commend them to be vulnerable and transparent with us; we effectually create a safe place for their unrestrained and often illogical emotions to be exposed and then reframed by the power of the Holy Spirit working through these Gospel-centered encounters.
And these encounters should NOT be decisively limited to family and close friends. Instead, we must think deeply about the gospel mandate upon our own lives to share the amazing news of Jesus’ blood-bought gift of salvation to anyone and everyone who is devoid of this saving grace. Should close family and friends that are without this truth be within our aim? Yes. But we should also seek and not avoid these same encounters with people we may be unfamiliar with. Long relationships are not quintessential for The Holy Spirit to work within us… our willingness is.
Hold Confidence Denude of Fear and Mature Into the Disciple You Were Predestined To Be
Perhaps in this very moment, the noise of reluctancy is swelling within your own heart as you contemplate this level of direct engagement. Displaying such empathy and openness towards people you are particularly unfamiliar with can seem frightening! Maybe you feel disqualified or ill-equipped, when you consider implementing such a counter-cultural conversational methodology into your daily interactions with people. Thankfully, the word of God provides great wisdom to illuminate how wrongheaded each of these two sentiments are.
#1- You have not been disqualified. Regardless of your past transgressions, God can still leverage your life to be a blessing and shadow of Himself to another in need. I know I know… there is a bit of leftover noise to be addressed right now as you read this paragraph. Perhaps you’re thinking,
#1- You have not been disqualified. Regardless of your past transgressions, God can still leverage your life to be a blessing and shadow of Himself to another in need. I know I know… there is a bit of leftover noise to be addressed right now as you read this paragraph. Perhaps you’re thinking,
“You don’t understand Brandon, I’m struggling with sin in my life right now! If you knew what I was really struggling with, you would know I’m disqualified from leaning into others in need. Why would God want to use me to present this powerful three-worded question with the goal of sharing the love, hope, and truth of God”
OK, I hear your concern. So are you ready for this next statement? Listen closely. Regardless of your current stumbling blocks, God can STILL leverage your life to be a blessing and shadow of Himself to another in need. You see, God is not looking for perfect disciples; He’s looking for authentic disciples. Authenticity with God does not mean you are sinless; it means you are honest with Him. Think 1 John 1:9. As long as you are honest with yourself and God about the areas of your life that need redemption… as long as you demonstrate true repentance marked by disdain (not love) for the sin you aim to kill within your own life, you are qualified. Come on, I need you to say it with me. Ready… Set… GO
“ I am not disqualified from being used by Christ to help others struggling in their circumstances”
#2- You are not as ill-equipped as you think you are. Brothers and sisters, you don’t need to be a pastor or a counselor to ask someone, “How are You”. Neither do you need the gift of gab or personality to do it well. And though you may not win an Oscar for your linguistic abilities…even if you are at the genesis of your Christian faith… regardless of your ability to digest and memorize massive quantities of Scripture…you are equipped for this work. How? Think Ephesians 2:9-10. O how I long for each of you to find rest in this scripture. For these verses are packed with beautiful realities like a mother who deliberately chops and prepares food for her young. God’s word is prepared with this level of care for us (His children) to enjoy. Therefore eat from this good food and accept that you have been created beforehand for good works. Trust in the supremacy of Christ Jesus’ foreknowledge when He viewed the details of your life; including your shortcomings, and still decided you would be His child…. Beforehand! You’ve been empowered to overcome these shortcomings.
In the end, the only ability or feeling you need is compassion. You just need to be compassionate. Caring about the details of people’s lives will alter the place your “How Are You” comes from. When we overcome the noise of reluctancy that seeks to disqualify our hearts for service; we effectually become available for God to use our lives in these moments. So why not… why not decide today to look outside yourself towards the people all around you. Jump in with two feet and avoid looking behind you. Trust that God will provide the words you need for each specific person in every specific moment that may arise through these powerful encounters. Be encouraged that faithful service in this arena sets the stage for a friend, family member, or acquaintance to partake in the transforming experience that occurs when Christ becomes the center of our circumstances. Hold confidence denude of fear and mature into the disciple you were predestined to be. Don’t let another day go by without seeking the opportunity to ask someone from the bottom of your heart….How Are You?
In the end, the only ability or feeling you need is compassion. You just need to be compassionate. Caring about the details of people’s lives will alter the place your “How Are You” comes from. When we overcome the noise of reluctancy that seeks to disqualify our hearts for service; we effectually become available for God to use our lives in these moments. So why not… why not decide today to look outside yourself towards the people all around you. Jump in with two feet and avoid looking behind you. Trust that God will provide the words you need for each specific person in every specific moment that may arise through these powerful encounters. Be encouraged that faithful service in this arena sets the stage for a friend, family member, or acquaintance to partake in the transforming experience that occurs when Christ becomes the center of our circumstances. Hold confidence denude of fear and mature into the disciple you were predestined to be. Don’t let another day go by without seeking the opportunity to ask someone from the bottom of your heart….How Are You?
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visit the website: MAKING MUCH OF CHRIST MINISTRIES
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TELL US WHAT YOU THINK!
visit the website: MAKING MUCH OF CHRIST MINISTRIES
To learn more about The God who’s ready to walk with you click HERE
TELL US WHAT YOU THINK!